Sinking into sweet uncertainty.

I hate hate hate hate hate it when guys take mirror pictures with a wannabe sexy face ._.

What if I don’t matter anymore? What if I don’t want to matter anymore?

It’s always around this time of the year when I start to feel a bit lonely. I don’t know why. As much I dislike school, it’s always been kind of bitter-sweet.

I don’t know what to feel or how to feel. What is there to do when all you do is be the way you are? I just wish there was some consistency within the mood. You always give off a certain vibe that suddenly brings me or everyone else down. It’s not pleasant, and I don’t want to be angry. However, at the same time, I can’t help but feel like shit. You could at least be more considerate of how everyone else feels. Walking off far from the group and making excuses is just ridiculous. I don’t even know why you bothered to show up if you were going to act like that. Whatever. I give up. It’s so frustrating, and I don’t even want to do deal with it anymore.

ANYWAY, four Pink Ribbon members went to the social today. I guess you could say it was pretty fun. There was a teacher from Godinez that talked about her breast cancer experience. When she started speaking, I was just like “damn that lady got SCHWAG”. She was like super charming and very uh..i don’t even. Chill? Cool? whatever the word is, I want to be a teacher like her when I grow up! Haha. Oh and then we made like a Pink Ribbon thingy with coat hangers and clothes and stuff. It was pretty fun. Then they started lecturing us about eating healthy and all dat goot stuff. OH THE BEST PART WAS WHEN THESE WOMEN STARTED MAKING US DO EXERCISE/CHOREO STUFF. My personal favorite was the superman…Yen was so cute, she was super confused. Hehe. blah blah blah. The social was over and we had to wait for Mai’s dad to pick us up. During the mean time, we just cam whored and stuff. Good stuff. Afterwards, mai and I went to the movies to meet up with Tan. Invited Thomas and ate at Miyako’s. Pretty much sums up my day. My mood could be brought up a bit, but I’ll just sleep it off later. I just wish I had all the answers I needed. People are so confusing sometimes. Ugh.

mahalkitax3:

Nice people always get mistaken as flirts. I know it’s hard to tell sometimes with all the flatter and chatter but it’s the actual intention that matters. Flirting is showing sexual interest and being friendly is just being polite. Nice people shouldn’t be held against just because some people have an inability of judging character.

RAWR.

(Source: shirleychen, via luuvianaa)

Why are you so awkward

Why do you have to be so obvious

Why?

What goes through your fucking head

I don’t understand what your intentions are

I don’t know

Are you just a nice person

Or is it more than that

I’m scared

I don’t know how long our friendship with last. I don’t know what will happen. We get along so well, sometimes. And other times, I just want to deck you in the face. We’re so completely different. In fact, the only thing that brought us “closer” as friends to begin with would be League of Legends. I just wish you didn’t put up such a front, though. It makes things a lot more complicated than it should be. Just keep it real, it’ll be a lot easier. Relax. That’s all I want you to do.